This morning, Mercedes was (I thought) playing puzzles nicely in her bedroom while I walked Emerald around the house. Emerald and I were in the living room and Mercedes and I were yelling back and forth to each other, having a lovely conversation about something. All of a sudden I heard a CRASH and ran in her room to find the dresser as shown above...with Mercedes crumbled underneath it (where the top shelf is). As you can see, this is a five drawer dresser. The bottom four drawers flew open. The top one that she was pinned underneath was somehow jammed shut.
More terrifying than seeing my child pinned underneath a dresser was the sound of silence. She wasn't crying. In that split second I had no idea if she had passed out or worse. I pulled her out and she was awake and terrified. Once she was in my arms, then she started to cry. Once she was calm, I checked her all over and she did not have a single bump or bruise. Seriously people. This was a miracle from God. There is no reason why that top drawer should have been jammed shut. I tried to get it open and it wouldn't budge. When my husband got home he opened it right away and said there was no reason why it shouldn't have opened with the rest of them.
Here's what the dresser looked like afterwards...the top drawer wouldn't open, the bottom ones wouldn't close.
Poor Mr. Piggy bank! Mercedes looked at him and said "Oooh, my piggy died!"
She gave the dresser a big hug because she felt sorry that it got hurt.
After a couple hours of off and on crying because her head hurt and not having an appetite, I did take her to the doctor to get her checked out. The doctor sent us to the emergency room so she got checked very thoroughly, and we made extra sure there were absolutely no injuries whatsoever. We both had quite a scare today and I am one relieved momma!
I decided to write this post because 1) I am 100% convinced that God kept my baby safe. There is no reason for the top drawer to jam shut, and she fell in such a way that she did not get pinned underneath the other drawers and hurt her legs. There were a million different ways she could have fallen and gotten totally crushed. She literally could have died today. I want the world to know what God did to protect my baby. 2) I think it's only fair that I share my failures and struggles as well as my triumphs and happy moments as a mom. My reason for blogging is to encourage other moms out there, by sharing both the good and the bad moments in our lives. A mom told me recently that I intimidated her because I was such a good mom and seemed to have everything under control all the time while she was constantly struggling. I want this post to scream "Attention, all you moms who are struggling...I have mommy fails too!" Our lives are not perfect, our days do not consist of one fun activity after another in between hugs and kisses and cuddles and special moments. I am struggling to get the hang of this mom thing right along with the rest of you. All of us blogging/pinteresting moms do. Even though we usually choose to share the best of the best highlights of our days with the world, we all have times when nothing goes right. Days when there is always at least one kid crying at any given moment, the laundry is so piled up that nobody has any clean underwear and by 2 pm we haven't had time to brush our teeth or glance in the mirror because we've been so busy changing diapers, wiping bottoms, cleaning spills and soothing our toddlers as they go from one meltdown to the next. And then there are days like today, when I sit at the computer writing about how my toddler got smashed beneath a dresser and had to go to the emergency room, while holding my sleeping 10 month old almost-toddler and trying to decide if I need to take her to the emergency room because half an hour ago she face planted on the kitchen floor, got a bloody nose and now it is bruised and swollen. Second major mommy fail of the day.
The point is, we've all been there. We're all there, right now. All of us with children are struggling. We have mommy fails. Our kids have meltdowns. They get hurt. Our houses are piled with laundry and dishes. We can't seem to get anything right. It can be overwhelming. It can be frustrating and even depressing. That is why it's so important to 1) realize we're not alone...everyone with children knows exactly how we feel on our worst mommy fail days. And 2) Do not dwell on the mommy fail moments. Make sure you are being intentional about creating those special moments and happy times throughout the day with each of your children. If you haven't been, start today. Take some pictures. Keep a journal. Start a blog. And when you are overwhelmed, when you can't get your kids to stop screaming or breaking things and the living room is so messy no one can walk across it without tripping on something and your sink is piled with dishes and you just want to give up because you feel like anyone else could do a better job than you at raising your children...remember those special moments, those fun times, those beautiful children that you are investing 100% of your time and energy into. Remember that you love them more than you love your clean house or your sanity. They are worth it. And if you love your kids enough to worry about failing them, you are not failing them. You are doing an amazing job.
This is what I keep reminding myself today. Because today I feel like I failed my kids. But I know I didn't. Because I love them. Because I'm here. And they know that I love them. That is my job as a mom. To love my kids and let them know I love them and teach them about God's love which is the greatest and most perfect love of all. If I do that, I am not failing them. If you are doing that for your kids, you are not failing them either. Even on the worst mommy fail days.