Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Emerald's 5th Birthday Letter

My Dear Sweet Emerald,

Today you are FIVE! You are a bundle of happy, goofy, stubborn, compassionate, spunky, helpful, loud, bossy, snuggly and adorable all rolled up into one little girl. You are EXTREME. Whatever you do and whatever mood you are in, you give it 100%. Daddy says you get this from me. You laugh hard, cry hard, scream loud, love big, help tons and you ALWAYS want to be in charge. "Dynamite, Firecracker and Volcano are words that come to mind when describing all that is YOU. And I mean that in all the bad and the good ways. You are not afraid to show off who you are and let your emotions flow, and that is a beautiful quality to have. I remind you that every day and a million times a day you face a choice. To obey God or to walk away from Him. Such a big lesson for a little girl. But sweetie, you are headstrong. Stubborn. Prideful. Independent. You have big ideas and your own mind and you will do or say whatever it takes to make what you want happen. And with those qualities comes the danger that you will choose to walk away from the ones who love you...God, me and your dad...and follow your own path. A path that is not protected by God. So we pray together every day, lots of times a day. We learn about love. We learn about discipline. We learn about consequences. We remember God's promises and we remember His truths. We memorize scripture and we learn stories of people who have both loved God and walked away from Him, in the Bible. We work to build a strong foundation of love and trust and obedience to God and I pray every day that "when you are old you will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6). I pray that God softens your heart and you will choose Him every day of your life. 

There are so many things that I love about you, sweet girl, I hardly know where to begin. Your bright blue eyes. Your baby doll face. The way you still want to be held and cuddled. How you tell me you love me a thousand times a day...even when you're in trouble. Watching you play on the playground...and make sure all the big kids are being fair and sharing the slide with the little kids...and watching how all the big kids listen to you! I believe you have a gift as a leader and I love watching you use that gift to be kind and fair to those smaller than you. I love watching you become more independent...making your own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and fixing your own bowls of cereal. I love the way you play with your little brother. You make him laugh harder than anyone else in the world, with your silly faces, funny noises and goofy games. He adores you. The way you play pretend with your sister. You come up with so many fun games, stories an scenarios to act out. You are so strong...I love watching you climb trees, ride your bike, run as fast as you can and dance! You are so smart...I love reading Bob books with you and listening to you count to 100! You can add and subtract and draw all your shapes. You color me the best pictures. 

I'm not gonna lie, being your mom requires a special kind of patience. And I fail you. A lot. I don't always make the right decisions. I don't always handle your attitude, meltdowns and tantrums the way I should. If I'm going to be totally honest, most of the time I feel like I have no idea what in the world I am suppose to be doing or how to solve all of your problems. But I promise you I'm doing my best. I promise I'm never going to stop praying. I'm never going to give up on you. And I am NEVER going to stop loving you. Even when I'm angry. Even when you hurt me. Even when you scream at me and I scream back. I wouldn't trade being your mom for anything in the world. You are priceless, sweet girl. And I am so thankful you are my daughter. For the good and for the bad. You are a blessing and you are mine. And I thank God for you every day. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Baby Girl. I am so thankful God gave you to me.